I’m Working On Being Whole

I’m barely whole; a void that only seems to grow. A widening gap swallowing me completely; has it always been so dark in here?

I don’t know when it decided to make my soul its home, I don’t know why I let it stay for so long.

And trust me I’ve tried. I’ve tried to fill it, with brief moments of bliss. I almost forget about it, and for once, I’m complete.

You had a void within, one that resembled mine. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to you, the idea of us being puzzle pieces, finding each other by accident in complete darkness.

Intoxicated by my fantasy, I failed to see just how maddening that was. Needing another hollow heart to fill mine. In hindsight, neither of us were capable of giving – only pretending.

You always knew we were doomed, and maintained a distance from the very beginning. Me, I let go of my sanity and let your flames bring me comfort, until I got too close.

You walked out, along with my façade of completeness. And again, it was just me. And the void.

For the first time, I didn’t mask it with another distraction. It was there. And it has always been there, even when it fades into the daylight. The fire burns out, and there it lies, next to me.

I’ve just begun to realize, the void isn’t emptiness, or a gaping wound begging to be filled. The void is me.

 

10 thoughts on “I’m Working On Being Whole

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