Letting You Go, Again

It took me months to get here; it took everything in me to get up, let alone walk away.

But I did.

Now here you are, pulling me back again.

The first few times I let you go, you clawed your way back in (just like I hoped you would). I stopped hoping you’d come back, not because you stopped coming, but I realized that you’re not coming back for me. You find your way back in each time, because you find some kind of sick pleasure in my vulnerability, in knowing you could have that much power over someone’s state of mind.

This time, though, it was me who walked away.

And you tried. You tried to pull me back but honey, I was long gone.

For once, I put myself first. For my own sanity, which you so effortlessly wrecked.

I don’t blame you, that was all me. Now I know better, I know not to give my heart away like candy.

I’m still learning. My heart continued to wander, even after you, for a new home. And of course, the new homes always shatter.

Someday it’ll realize it has been home all along, someday it’ll stop looking for solace within unfamiliar walls.

Someday, I’ll be its home.

5 thoughts on “Letting You Go, Again

  1. This hit me hard, on a personal note. I want to say that I’m proud of you, but given I don’t know the circumstances it is hard to judge the right thing to say to a stranger pouring their mind into writing. But you moved me. Made me feel like I’m not so alone. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The fact that I can move someone just by rambling means so much. I’m proud of you as well, and you’re NOT alone, remember that 🙂 And thank YOU.

      Like

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