I want you to stay

There are things I don’t say enough, or ever

I never tell you I truly, really care; I never tell you how often I fall apart in your absence, to the point it’s almost unhealthy

I know I took you for granted, all those times you reached out

You gave more than I ever could

I know, I’m not the perfect girlfriend – I barely know how to be a girlfriend, as silly as that sounds

I pay attention to every little thing, even when you think I don’t

I notice when the texts stop coming and your eyes look anywhere but into mine

I notice when you lie next to me but your mind rests elsewhere, anywhere but here

And now we’re just another ticking clock, with an expiration date stamped onto our foreheads

Maybe you’ll be gone in the morning

I feel your arm around my waist, your body pressed against mine as we sleep, one last time

I could fix it, I know – if you want me to

I could promise to be better, to treat you better but maybe the ‘better’ you deserve isn’t me

And as much as the thought of waking up alone tomorrow morning hurts, I keep the door open just a crack

For you to walk out after one last glance, maybe a kiss on the forehead

I lie there motionless as I count your footsteps, but all of me wants to say,

“Darling, please stay.”






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